Last few kilometers in Brazil

29/ May 2010     Current Position Borracharia Brazil
Way Point 555   GPS S 09’ 41.822  W 065’ 08.141
Adams (our eldest sons Birthday)
Elayne and I reflect on Adams Birthday as we camp besides the road in a large Red dusty washed out gulley surrounded by a huge Fazenda’s.The stress and isolation for the last 6000klms has taken its toll, we are worn out the humidity and 38-40c temperatures have been hard to cope with day after day in our tent.
We have battled the tropics for months everything is wearing out our cloths shoes everything, the damp humidity making our tent look like it has the plague with small black fungi Mildew spots across the canvass. Our mattress is hanging in by a thread its comfort long gone as the foam gradually flattens down from its original splendor. We had worked hard to keep our home in good condition drying our tent at every opportunity, but the Mildew had beaten us in the end.
Even Victor looks as if he just made it and is also looking forward to some cold evenings. He is covered in red dust the Amazon still clinging to his frame, he had made it from the very North of Brazil to Belem and then across the Amazon now heading to Peru. It’s easy to write 6000klms but we are tried and worn out and Victor’s suspension is groaning.
Elayne sits in her camp chair and breaks down sobbing and crying tears rolling down her face, her hands look like wet rouge the Amazon dust still ingrained .I hold my emotions back not wanting to upset Elayne further and try and console her with the thought we are not far away from Rio Bronco……  Rio Bronco …Elayne exclaims…. how far are we from Melbourne Australia….. Elayne is struggling ,No fridge, no cool running water, just boiling hot from our rear canisters, and tinned sardines and rice again…Elayne exclaims .one minute we are front page local news the stars of the town the next  we are camped besides the road in a red dusty gulley. The reality of being so far away from home, in not the most glamorous camping spot stuck besides the BR 364 in the middle of nowhere. It’s our son’s birthday thousands and thousands of miles away, we wonder how he is picturing us right now as he goes to work the next day our future still not here it always feels strange. The tension and tons of stress of the last few months come together, worried about  her epilepsy and Malaria, snakes , jaguars, and the hazards of crossing such a large isolated part of Brazil and all the possibilities of what could have gone wrong and what still could go wrong are welling over Elayne…..It is not Elayne’s  passion to push this home made recycled car to its limits around the world, a car which offers no more comfort than two motorbikes glued together, It offers no prize or reward for Elayne … And then me adding to the tension day after day thinking out aloud ….Hope the gearbox holds together……..Hope the steering doesn’t  break….hope the  front torsion leaves don’t break….checking every day listening to every strange noise, day after day ….. I hope something doesn’t break… what must I sound like?
Elayne cannot fix the car; she can only help me which she does without protest most of the time. It’s my passion…. Elayne is hanging onto my dream ….. My world…. my car my thoughts……Would I do it for Elayne if the tables were turned???….I am not so sure……
I don’t fill that proud of our adventure at this point in time,
To see Elayne sobbing and trying to console herself rubbing her eyes with clenched fists her head hung low red mud running down her fore arms, her cloths warn out and covered in dust ……. I have pushed her and the car too far….. I fill pretty upset with my own ego trip neglecting what was more important to me.  I felt uneasy with myself loosing grip with this epic travel dream it all looks shaky in my head I fell alone my ego and vanity retreating rapidly  leaving me to contemplate the reality of this adventure and the consequences it could produce?????
I felt deeply alone….. my thought’s  not clear anymore struggling to make any sense of ,where we are what am I really doing????…what have I done dragging Elayne along not seeing her boy’s for so long….. Elayne at her limits trying to help all she can trying to share my dream.
DON’T WORRY CHRIS ELAYNE EXCLAIMS ….IT’S JUST THOSE Hormones kicking in……But I still felt rotten and Elayne’s explanation about those hormones did not make me feel any better.

About Adam

Site admin and son to Chris and Elayne Clash. :)
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